The Customer is NEVER Right - A Nurse Practitioner's Perspective
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Medical Mystery Shopper

Medical mystery shopper. Really!?! I always make it clear that I am NOT a customer service matter expert. However, because of where I find myself because of customer service I would like to think I have heard it all. However, as pointed out in a recent blog I had never heard of the practice of “customer recovery” until I heard it from an administrator recently. Having said that, after educating myself on the term and practice of “customer recovery” I found it to be no more and no less than the politically correct manner stated of “kissing ass”.
 
On that note, the practice of “mystery shopper” is something I am familiar with but in other industries, not in healthcare. However, a practice I found a bit undermining, to be nice, in other industries nonetheless. Just recently, when I was researching the practice of “customer recovery” mentioned above I came across a website where the tab “Medical Mystery Shopper” caught my attention.

Are you FREAKING kidding me? Yes, all caps because I am yelling but trying to keep from vomiting. However, the written words a cleaner version of what my brain is actually spewing. Again, are you FREAKING kidding me!?!
 
In other industries I see “mystery shoppers” being undermining, and that was being nice about it as I said. However, in healthcare, I find the idea of a “medical mystery shopper” beyond appalling.
 
Why? Let me get this straight, you are here not because you have a medical condition but because you want to evaluate my customer service? Are you FREAKING kidding me? Again, you are here for NO medical reason but instead to evaluate my smile, or better yet, my lack of smile? SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! ACTUALLY! TAKE YOUR ASS OUT THE FRONT DOOR AND TAKE WITH YOU WHOEVER PUT YOU UP TO THIS! Would be my words!
 
Fine. He is my evaluation of YOU! YOU, medical mystery shopper, and whoever, your employer and healthcare administrators alike, put you up to this are FREAKING RATS! Why? Because although the public holds us, yes us, healthcare workers, NOT administrators, as the most honest profession and with the greatest ethical standard of any industry it is our employers who do NOT trust us. To prove that mistrust, healthcare administrators, our employers, hired “medical mystery shoppers” to dishonestly come to our facilities not to evaluate our clinical skills but to evaluate our bedside manners. Again, present not to evaluate our attempt to preserve the quality of life and prevent the loss of life but to evaluate our smiles. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! ONLY IDIOTS CAN COME UP WITH THESE GREAT IDEAS! IDIOTS!
 
My beef is not that resources are being taken away from patients to care instead for “medical mystery shopper” patients, as I do not hide behind patients. Instead, my disgust is that our employer does not trust us and because of that hires snoops to spy on us. HOW DISHONEST AND UNDERMINING!
 
Again, we are trusted, although now that trust is questionable, with preserving the quality of life and preventing the loss of life but we are not trusted with our mannerisms in that someone might get offended that we did not smile, asked questions or how we ask questions. Really!?!
 
Yet, our employer thinks it is okay to DISHONESTLY(!) undermine those of us saving lives and stomping out disease by planting a mole to check on our bedside manners. And somehow that is okay! NO! It is NOT okay! It is F75KING repulsive!

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